Connecting, Linkedin-ing, Re-forming

Building a new structure for me and myself again

For too long, I have confined my physical existence to the four walls of this room in our house, experiencing the transitional spaces of the high-pitched electric whine of the car, alongside the occasional meltdowns of kindergarten and school pickups and drop-offs. The south coast of Wellington is a well-trodden path, with the sun's rays glinting off the sea and the salty smell of the Cook Strait. But walking the dog and the coast it isn’t enough.

On my dog walk this morning.

I feel stuck and I want to break out.

Finding my direction is proving difficult.

Others have seen it too. I got a kind message yesterday offering to meet up and talk about how things were going now I’d broken out of pandemic-assistance mode. Over coffee this afternoon with a fellow refugee who was further along in the process of rehab than I am, I realised I am not alone in this transition.

It took her three months of doing nothing before she felt ready for something. And even if she felt ready for something, she had people around her reminding her to do nothing for a while longer. My words, not hers, but you get my drift.

She reminded me of the people I have worked with over the past three years who remain available to me; their presence like a comforting hum in the background. It was a helpful reminder, a gentle nudge to remember.

Photo by bady abbas on Unsplash

This same generous soul is setting up another coffee with another refugee rehab’ing from the frazzle of the past 2.5 years. I’m looking forward to it.

As I rushed back to the car before my parking expired, I quickly stopped by the Wellington Writer's Space Open Day and had a brief conversation with the proprietor - we had connected previously over email. The space was open and inviting and available for me to use casually. Something to think about, perhaps as a way of structuring my time in the coming months ahead.

I thought back to my previous conversation. The feel of the pavement beneath my feet, the smell of coffee and food drifting through the air, the sights of all the people—being out in the city is something I've really missed. Being able to step back out into the world, even if it's just for a couple of hours every other week, would be a welcome change of pace for me.