The optimism vibe doesn't sit completely right for some people. If you've a tendency to look for the traps, defensive pessimism might be where you're at. More guidance, inspiration and fun within.
I am definitely a defensive pessimist, it’s served me well and not so well in life generally. Maybe because my long term partner is very much a grounded optimistic soul. We are literally are chalk and cheese, sadly I’m the chalk. Can one be both optimistic and pessimistic?
Hi Paul - an interesting observation where partner's are concerned. My wife is definitely more of an optimist than I am - and this works well as a partnership for us. And it's fascinating how we can switch too: I was far more optimistic when we adopted our dog that it was going to work out fine than she was. So, perhaps optimism / pessimism is less dispositional than situational. I know that we can cultivate optimism to spend more time using this approach in our lives - and indeed, I wrote about it in Finding Calm :)
I am definitely an optimist - but I hope a realistic optimist most of the time. Definitely more optimistic than you when it comes to camping and taking small children to events.
I have definitely been on a journey towards leaving some of my defensive pessimism behind and find that folk around me really appreciate that!. I guess I have a foot in both camps as some of my optimism may be a bit superficial!
I wonder if defensive pessimists live, or have spent periods of their lives, in precarious positions, meaning that preparing for the worst was not just a life choice but a survival strategy. And I also wonder how much of this is inter-generational too. I wonder if optimism is a privilege that can only be expressed in conditions of plentiful resources. So many wonderings :)
Thanks Sarb, that was really good. I'm definitely in that camp. My work requires me to consider worst case scenarios and determine how they can be avoided.
Your affirmation that defensive pessimists are very important and active participants in this world was appreciated.
Thanks, Robert - I'm glad this resonated with you. I am also a defensive pessimist at heart - though I have my optimistic moments in times of low load and stress. When I allow myself the space to reflect, the contrast in how I see the world is striking.
I am definitely a defensive pessimist, it’s served me well and not so well in life generally. Maybe because my long term partner is very much a grounded optimistic soul. We are literally are chalk and cheese, sadly I’m the chalk. Can one be both optimistic and pessimistic?
Hi Paul - an interesting observation where partner's are concerned. My wife is definitely more of an optimist than I am - and this works well as a partnership for us. And it's fascinating how we can switch too: I was far more optimistic when we adopted our dog that it was going to work out fine than she was. So, perhaps optimism / pessimism is less dispositional than situational. I know that we can cultivate optimism to spend more time using this approach in our lives - and indeed, I wrote about it in Finding Calm :)
I am definitely an optimist - but I hope a realistic optimist most of the time. Definitely more optimistic than you when it comes to camping and taking small children to events.
Ha, definitely!
I have definitely been on a journey towards leaving some of my defensive pessimism behind and find that folk around me really appreciate that!. I guess I have a foot in both camps as some of my optimism may be a bit superficial!
I wonder if defensive pessimists live, or have spent periods of their lives, in precarious positions, meaning that preparing for the worst was not just a life choice but a survival strategy. And I also wonder how much of this is inter-generational too. I wonder if optimism is a privilege that can only be expressed in conditions of plentiful resources. So many wonderings :)
Thanks Sarb, that was really good. I'm definitely in that camp. My work requires me to consider worst case scenarios and determine how they can be avoided.
Your affirmation that defensive pessimists are very important and active participants in this world was appreciated.
Thanks, Robert - I'm glad this resonated with you. I am also a defensive pessimist at heart - though I have my optimistic moments in times of low load and stress. When I allow myself the space to reflect, the contrast in how I see the world is striking.